Ain't that a kick in the head
by steph.solaris
Summary: The unlikely love story and friend of Irene Adler and Sebastian Moran. Starting way before Sherlock came into play, and ending only after one of their deaths. And some hints of mormor, of course. Based off of BBC's Sherlock. I don't own any of the characters. Mostly based on the show, the books and some RP's. Rated M for future chapter for triggering topics, violence, sex.


Not everything in Sebastian's life revolved around Jim, he had his own hobbies, even love affairs. The greatest one he ever had was with the famous Irene Adler. It was an unlikely love affair, but one of the greats, fit for a great Greek tragedy-

They met, of course, in the middle of a job, or rather the start of a job, one that would last for the rest of Sebastian's life, way before Sherlock came into the picture, way before she became "that bitch" to Jim, way before the hatred, but not back enough when they were innocent.

Sebastian was in his usual spot, feet up on top of the desk, dirty boots, a cigarette in his mouth, unlit, of course before Jim threw another fit, and cleaning his handgun, a nice Glock 19, his favorite pass time in slow days like this,

"Don't you have something better to do?" Jim said with a hint of annoyance without looking up from his papers, he didn't like seeing Sebastian sitting still even if there was nothing to do, he used to tease him he would go stale if he kept on not doing anything,

"Nope" Sebastian replied not letting the question disturb his work, it was almost like he had in his happy place and he wasn't about to let Jim ruin that, or anyone for that matter, or so he thought. A loud girly giggle came from the other side of the door and both men's faces shot up, Sebastian's feet stomping the ground, if he needed to take someone down he was going to be ready. It kept getting louder until they heard "Well alright, I'll be right over after this, don't be too naughty now." Right before the door opened without any niceties

"I've got something you want" she was said moving her bodacious hips in her tight white dress. Sebastian looked her up and down in a sort of awe stance but at the same time putting his gun together but experience he knew the most beautiful women were the most dangerous ones.

"Well?" Irene spoke again after a short moment ever so forcefully pressing her breasts forward to Jim, as if that would do anything to him, Sebastian waited for any sign from Jim to shot the woman on the spot. But he remained silent, with his lips pressed together for a few long seconds,

"Irene Adler" Jim finally said still not giving any clue to Sebastian "What could you possibly have that I want?" Jim's deep dark eyes starred at her the way that made most people uncomfortable but not Irene, she kept her warm smile and simply said "me." Sebastian smirked and cocked his gun hoping to at least startle the woman, but she didn't even flinch. Now that was some joke, he was sure that Jim would order him to 'get rid' of her and they both go on with their day.

"Well not _all_ of you" Jim said sighing with the smallest smirk on his face. "What do you wish for in return?" Jim said his eyes starting look for his checkbook.

"Protection" Irene shrugged and looked around the room finally recognizing Sebastian was in the room, she set her eyes on him as she looked him from head to toe with a smirk like she liked what she saw. Sebastian remained composed starting at her with his best poker face but inside he was smirking and blood rushed to his head. She truly was beautiful, too beautiful; if she was going to be around he would have to get her out of his system before it became a problem.

"I'm sure you can spare at least one of your meatheads to watch over me, just for a little while until the tide comes down" Irene said taking her eyes off of Sebastian.

"What, _him_?" Jim's voice had the slightest hint of jealousy, or at least Sebastian thought so. "He will do" Irene said with a wink for Sebastian before turning back to Jim.

"How long will this loan be for?" Jim asked realizing that having his best man looking after _that woman_ would be the safest route.

"No longer than a month" they both knew she was lying but that was something to deal with another day. "Fine" Jim resigned himself after a few seconds with only mild irritation. Of course nobody asked for Sebastian's opinion, because they didn't have to, and he was used to being treated like a piece of furniture, besides watching over a beautiful woman sounded more like a vacation to him.

"I'll have him stop by tomorrow" Jim waved his hand signaling Irene to leave the room but she didn't move muscle.

"I'm afraid tomorrow won't do." Irene looked down at her perfectly pedicure feet "You see I already have a tail and I am afraid I won't make it through the night if I leave this building alone" It was clear to Sebastian then that she was terrified, and that she must have pissed off a lot of people before she came into their lives. With a fast and quiet movement he grabbed his gun and got it ready to fire.

"Don't you think you should've told us this before all the games?" Sebastian finally broke silence, it was the first time he spoke and his deep voice trembled across the room. It made Irene smile and Jim roll his eyes, always so protective and unforgiving, just like a tiger.

"Of course you do" Jim was no longer holding back his annoyance, she hadn't been there for that long and she was already annoying the wits out of him "Next time you bring a tail here, I will have him shoot you right between your eyes, you get that?" Jim's voice gradually builds until it was almost like a shout. Irene's eyes widened a bit as she noted, she didn't speak for fear that her, it was true what they said about him, he_ was_ crazy. "I suppose now we'll have to get rid of _them_ too" Jim said with a sigh as he unlocked his phone and quickly typing orders away for the guards standing outside.

"Thank you" Irene said with her most sincere tone but there was no response from either of them. Perhaps this wouldn't be as easy as Sebastian thought, still something different to do kept the fire alive. There was a small clink coming from Jim's phone

"It is done" Jim looked up "Now leave us, Sebastian here will meet you at the bottom of the stairs in ten minutes" Irene relaxed, she felt light as a feather at least for the 20 minutes that it would take for the next rail to arrive.. She turned around and walked towards the door to exit with the loud clink of her high heels hitting the wood floor.

"Going to warn him about me, love?" She said with a smirk blowing a kiss to Sebastian. It took him a second to hide his smirk, he could tell she was a very dangerous woman and that drove him crazy. "You know I don't like being a baby sitter, Jim" he said after she had exited the room with a small smirk on his face. Jim had no reaction to him; he simply stood up from his chair and got a serious look in his face.

"Tiger you need to listen to me" the seriousness in Jim's voice meant business and Sebastian knew it "Under_ no_ circumstances are you to sleep with Irene Adler" This took Sebastian by surprise, was it that obvious? Did he let his mask slip?

"You can't really tell me who I can and can't sleep with Jim…" it wasn't Jim's custom to get involved in Sebastian's personal life like that, he got jealous from time to time but not to this extent.

"Take it as friendly advice then" Jim's voice was soft and he was looking away as if he was remembering something horrible, "That is the most dangerous woman in England, she alone has destroyed bloody royal families, you really don't want to get involved, trust me." Sebastian was intrigued, did this mean they had _been_ together before? No way. Jim didn't really swing that way, right? All this information intrigued Sebastian, but not in the way Jim was hoping, he really should have known better, maybe if Jim hadn't made such a fuss things would have turned out much different, with less blood at least for sure. The danger only made Sebastian more curious about her, what is was about her that was so powerful.

"Don't let her seduce you, keep to yourself, do your job and come back in one piece, understood?" Jim's soft voice was gone and the ordering boss was back, Sebastian nodded and mentally crossed his fingers, after all he wasn't the perfect soldier. He grabbed his gun and gave Jim a small nod good-bye before heading upstairs to get his always ready going-away bag. In it he added enough ammunition to get rid of an entire army his favorite knife and flask as well as a month's supply of cigarettes. Before exiting his room he grabbed his phone that he was to "keep on at all times" according to Jim's orders and headed downstairs where Irene was impatiently waiting for him tapping her heels.

"Finished packing your stockings yet? Let's go love, we are standing like quite the targets" Sebastian sighed and went downstairs quickly without saying a word realizing she was as annoying as she was beautiful, no wonder there was a price for her head.


End file.
